Back where we started and doing just fine. Change is in the water and the water feels just right. We can’t fear change, we must embrace it.. sometimes you have to walk on water. Watching the night sky, dotted with asterism, fade into darker majestic hues of blue, signalizing the end of another day. Embracing the silence, the celestial space is where my mind is allowed to wander. Mood? Calm. I feel so weightless as if at any moment, the wind is going to sweep off my feet and I’ll fly away. Anywhere, everywhere.
Out there it’s deceivingly cold, with only a faint chill creeping through the window sill. Song on repeat. It’s been 10 months, 13 hours and 21 minutes since we last spoke. It feels a bit longer. 308 days have gone by. 2 seasons have come and gone. In 2 more months, it’ll be one year since you hid. You used to tell me there was a reason for all the reasons. A reason for the trees and the ocean. A reason why the sun got shy on some days and the clouds would take over. A reason for the moon, the stars and all the celestial beings hiding behind powder puff giants.
The first time I ever attended a funeral, you pulled me in close and told me she wasn’t gone; you said it was like the sun, the moon and the stars. She wasn’t gone, she was just hiding. You always found a way to explain things to me in a way which made sense, never losing any sense of wonder and magic to your reasons. It’s taken me a while to remember and for that I’m truly sorry. But I know one day, hide and seek will come to and end; when it does, I hope you’ll smile and say…
„I told you so.“
Photos made by Balazs Iosif
Shoes Jessica Buurman