First of all, sorry for not posting the last weeks, but I had so much going on! Exams, exams, exams and working on weekends. But now that everything went well, I have finally found some time to shoot this outfit for you!
I’m too stubborn to let anything stop me. When I set my mind into doing something, I do it.
In general, most people are very positive and supportive about what I do. But still there are a few naysayers I’ve came across along the way. The last months a lot has been going on in my life and though I am kind of a relaxed person, I have to admit that I was pretty stressed out. I didn’t know how I could manage all of this without leaving anything behind – uni, relationships, family, friends, work, my blog… There were even some people who I was very close with, who couldn’t or didn’t want to support me in that whole blog thing, because they somehow felt intimidated by it, I don’t know. This person literally made me think for a second „what am I doing, maybe I should stop this and then everything will be fine“.
But, only for a second.
How could I ever allow that someone makes me think, that I should stop doing what I love, just because this person doesn’t have passion for anything in life. Really sad I know, but true. It hurts when even strangers are more supportive than your closest ones – when actually they should be the ones who support you and be happy for you, instead of being jealous or whatever. Because, is there anything better than hearing people you love talk about something they’re really passionate about? The way their eyes light up when they talk about the things they love. When I started thinking about this, I realized that it’s better to cut those people off, who don’t see the value in you and don’t see the effort you’re putting into the things you love, or aren’t interested in it at all, just because they’re dissatisfied with their own life. I’m not going to let other people’s negativity and insecurity stop me from doing what I want to do in life. I crave fiery passion. I don’t need a person as a filler. I need a person who is the firecracker, that makes me feel alive. And like Bukowski once said, I do not have time for things that have no soul.
This might sound ridiculous now, but I had a really mind-changing conversation in the club with a special friend, I haven’t seen seen in months. We talked for hours, I think, I even forgot that we’re actually in a club – I was just completely zoning out the people and the music around us. After seeing that one of the most important people in my life didn’t want to support what I’m doing , I completely forgot that there ARE actually people out there who appreciate what I do and know why I’m doing it. This conversation really opened my eyes.
In the days since, lots of things have started slotting into place and I see something so clearly now: I was a perfectionist, but more importantly, I’m someone who has unwittingly trained herself not to outshine. I have really been a People Pleaser and it doesn’t matter how much you love a person, but if this person makes you feel you did something bad, just because you go after what you want in life, LEAVE. Don’t use your time here to cater to other people’s egos by playing it small. Yes, it hurt, but I stood my ground because it was my character and my self-worth means more to me. It hurt, what was said, but not everyone you lose is a loss, believe it or not! The problem is, people aren’t liking the „no“, but that’s okay because I have a right to my feelings and a choice. No one can make me do something I don’t want to do. I am my best friend and if someone is not willing to let me have a voice, then I’d rather hang with myself than hang with drama.
Doing what you love in life is the most important thing. A person without passion for something is a lost soul, without any sense of purpose or direction. I won’t ever let people like that make me stop, because it’s the things I love that keep me going. My passion is what saves me from the world. I will burn for the things I love.